Today I was reading in Luke 5:5 and a devotion about surrender. One issue that it hit on that struck me, as it has before, is that of fear. It talked about surrendering to God my past regrets. That really hit me because I most of the time when thinking about surrender to God toil over why I can't just make myself surrender.
The truth is that I am afraid. I am afraid of submitting to Christ. I fear that I'll be asked to do something that I don't want to do... Or that I will fail to obey if I do hear.
It's not totally unfounded unfortunately. I've failed God SO many times before, I can't even count it. What's the surprise there?? I know and always knew that I was faulty, so why do I always allow the Enemy to keep my past mistakes up in my face?
He truly is the Accuser and succeeds regularly at luring me into further PRESENT disobedience in order to avoid FUTURE disobedience based on my PAST disobedience. That's not grace, it's prison and condemnation... And unfortunately, it's a comfortable prison.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
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